My Forecast...Can I ask for anything MORE??!!! I think NOOT!

Here is what my forecast says for the year 2009..very exciting...I will be ready for all the changes...

You are on the threshold of a major shift in your life as joyful Jupiter enters your sign next week to spend most of 2009 expanding your world. But you must be willing to change and to grow in order to make the most of whatever opportunities are offered. This can be challenging for you if you are reluctant to let go of the past. Don't hold on to what you have or you won't be able to grab on to what comes next.

Saving this for the time when I really need to read something to look upto.

Words, Words

I was talking to a close friend today. We have been really close and then suddenly like a snap things have changed. There is a growing distance that seems to be growing by the second. I was talking to this person that the dis-connect is very bothering and irritating. It is the very disturbing that when you think you have a real connection with someone and that connection suddenly has a lot of dropped calls. Neeways, I was trying to say this using words and more words and the person at the other end was not getting what I was trying to say..and now as I sit here writing this, I think, 'Are words really soooh important?". Yes, they help you express things, they help you "communicate", they are aids of connections, words are the building blocks of literature, they have been used so wonderfully and beautifully by poets, they are the bridges that connect sounds. But then again, there are so many things expressed by the body, by the eyes, by the lips; there is no much communication that happens without the use of a single word, there are some connections made instantly, w.o. even a "Hi"; and of course there is so much beauty captured in one picture that even a thousand page book cannot express.
So, now I am thinking the reason we are unable to communicate and connect today, is it really the fault of the words, or the fact that there really is a disconnect. When there is a connection, words are not needed and when there is a disconnect, all the words uttered are incorrect and inappropriate and inadequate.
But how do u tell a person, who you really care about, that there is a distance. How do you tell the person that there is a disconnect and hope that the connection gets turned back ON?? How do you relax when there is an obvious tension in the conversation?
I guess at such times, you just trust the cosmos and "SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY". Just say it and hope that the older connection will aide the words. Well..hopefully!

I am back ....again!!

i am writing today after a long time... a lot of things have been going on in the past month. one thing I have come to realize is that if there is anything that i am not ( or my heart) is not sure about doing, I should just tell my mind to follow without any questions. I am not able to bring my mind to agree to anything that my heart is not really interested in doing.

Also, I really need to do something about this exhaustion i face. I am always exhausted all the time. I am exhasted from work, exhausted from dance, exhausted from cooking, exhausted from doing FAN work, JUST plain exhausted. I donot know what to do about the exhaustion. There is this feeling that I am being constantly forced into doing something that I donot want to do. But I still keep doing it becuase I have committed to it and now am accountable. I am really waiting for this week to be over soon, so that I can start to reprogram my schedule.

I want Wednesday, 1:30 pm to approach fast so that I can decide what I can do with my time and alos give more time to tasks that are more important to me.

Neeways...I have more to write..but will tomorrow.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a happy day for me. Those a little harder to come by these days with so many things going on. But today morning when I was thinking about everything I need to do this month and the next, about dance, FAN,Diwali, India Planning, I got this warm-fuzzy that everything was going to be alright and that everything will be handled appropriately.
So yesterday was a happy day. I wanted to tell G, but he was fast asleep before I got a chance to turn to him and tell him. But that's my G!! Love him no matter what!

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

New Blog

I started a new blog yesterday to record my thoughts, experiences and lessons about dance. Since dance is a part of me and my life, I think this was long time coming. I am feeling pretty good about it so far.
Here is where you can find my dance logs: Thumkas N Shimmies

What the F???

Well,
It happens to me often that I write something and then am too bored to read it, even proff-read it. I mean, heck, I just wrote it, pulled it from my grey cells and now I have torture the same grey cells to read and analyse the material they just produced AGAIN!!! How totally unfair.
BUTTTT, no proof-reading means, when I read my own posts some 2 months later, I sit there staring, thinking...WTF, how did I ever write that. I mean, did I just not use the "so" in the same sentence and there it is again....F****.
And then all I see are the glaring mistakes, that pop right up. Not the thoughts, not the "in-between-the-lines" stuff...Just the mistakes...HATE IT!!
So POA, will try to be good and read wateva I write..TRY, TRY, TRY.
Does that I have to read everything that preceeds this word...F**************K!!!

Law of Attraction-- oprah show.

I sprained my ankle yesterday evening while taking a walk, so am glued to the couch with an ice pack on my right ankle.
So, I am on TV therapy. I am watching Oprah. She is talking to a panel of life coaches talking about Law of Attraction. One of the ladies defined the law of attraction as "You exactly get what you want."
The universe will give you only what you exactly want; rather intend. The difference between a wish and an intent is that is wish is something that springs from a need. I wish I have a stringer husband becuase I want him to be able to pick me up. I wish I win a lottery because I want to buy a Beamer convertible. However, intent is something that comes from inner core of peace. Also, your body tells you the difference between a wish and intent. When you say what you want aloud, if it is something u really want, your feel physically stronger.
This is a very interesting thought. I think that I am watching this show because it is my intent to get out of this miserable situation. My inner core wants me to be really happy and so I am having this entire experience so that I can grow.
Another interesting statement: " The world is conspiring for my betterment."

Thing to take away: Make a vision board. Almost everyone on the show talked about making a vision board. A lot og ladies also had vision boards.
A vision board is something you make from what you want to vision for yourself. Express the visions using pictures, letters, printouts.

I am going to give it a try.
I am starting my vision board contents today.

More about the show as I watch. I am totally loving it so far.

Dancer's Performance List

Here is a list of things that Jaz created for us jewels. I am sure there will be things added to this ever-evolving-as-this-jewel-performs list. But a girl's gotta start somewhere. So here we go.
You fellow dance-bellas, please improvise :-)

1. Costume -- Important to check all the components of the costume.
2. Cover-Up. -- Don't want to give everyone a peak at the costume :-). Always SHOCK them!!
   
3. Props -- If dancing with one, check it the night before the performance. Pay attention to the condition and look if the prop has any details or decoration on it. This is crucial especially if you have been practicing with it. Props will often gather the signs of practice and rehearsals. When a jewel dances, the jewel mesmerizes the spectators with the spectacles of shimmies and mayas and never lets the imperfections of the prop distract from her glow .
4. Safety pins - I usually keep a compartmentalized box that contains all the safety pins in different sizes. makes pins easy to find in a hurry between costume changes.
   
5. Double-sided tape. A garment tape will also do as long as it can hold.
6. Needle and thread. Keep a white, black and one thread in the costume colour.
7. Bobby pins.
8. U-pins.
9. Stapler. for those times when safety pins fail.
   
10. Deodorant or Solid perfume....becuz you want to look and smell HOT, despite being hot and sweaty.
11. Tissues. Wet and dry.
12. Make up wipes
13. Spare elastic.
14. Diaper pins. This is for all you shimmie-llicous babes, to keep the belt from sliding down your booty.
15. Dental floss/ breath mints/ mouth freshener.
16. First aid kit -- Sprain Spray, Neosporin, Band-aid
17. Makeup -- Refer to things in the makeup kit.
18. Nail polish -- same colour as you are wearing. In case you dance your toes off.
    
19. Manicure corrector. If you have a small chip.
    
20. Spare shoes or sandals. To be prepared when you might be asked to mingle with the crowd
21. Water
22. A snack that can give instant energy. Something sugary like apricots and almonds. Preferably, nothing spicy or greasy.

That's all I have so far. Will keep adding as I learn more!

Shimmie on!!

Men from Mars.....??

Okay...so I am trying to keep up my self-made promise to write everyday (if possible :-) ). I have been thinking about how men seem to take advantage of their friends who are girls. So here you have a girl who wants a guy to talk to her, give her a man's perspective on life, just so that she can find her way through the completely confusing and puzzling world of MEN. And she gets is just another guy who wants to touch her every chance he gets, show his guy friends "look-who-is-my-friend". Is it really so difficult to be a friend? This is so confusing.
Well, so I am going to try another way of dealing with this. Keep the friend AWAY for some time and see what happens.
I have heard from a lot of fellow GFs that the IGNORE therapy works wonders. It has never worked for me so far, but this time I am prepared to give it a full try. I will try hard not to give into temptation to talk (which is SOOOO D%#$*#(#$*N hard).

I have been dancing a lot lately. I think it is really helping me deal with life and stress better, not to mention the added benefit of getting a chance to dress up and look HOOOOOT and then shake the booty :-D...FABOULICIOUS!!!

Just one of those days

I am jut having one of those days that starts off feeling great and wonderful, and then sometime around late afternoon ( around 4:30 pm) starts to feel like a total disaster. Donno if it is the gloomy, cloudy, absolutely-no-sunshine-at-all weather that has been resident here in Memphis since Monday, or just that I have so much that I have no energy left feeling. Neeways, no matter how tired I am, I still have to rehearse my dance for the upcoming show, and Ihave to cook and just HAVE HAVE HAVE to get my hair washed and conditioned.

Listening to "O Meri Jaan" from Manzil-Manzil. Everytime I listen to this song there is something new that I learn about this song and I fall in love with it again! Like today, it is the stuble modulations that Asha-di does with her voice. PRICELESS!!

I was looking and thinking about my blog activities and realized that I have a post-writing frequency of once-a-year....that SUCKS!! Especially when I have so much to say and write and also when everyone around me is telling me to write a lot. So, starting right NOW, I am going to make a sincere and religious effort to write a couple of lines about my life, dance, beauty, impulses, actions, joys and sorrow that every new 24 hours bring to me..

Here's to writing just enuf to have this blog filled, my mind emptied and avioiding carpel-tunnel.

Poem about MOI

This is what a co-worker, PAMish, had to say about me!! Although this might seem a little cheesy, I think it is quite sweet!!

happy / joyful / jubliant / rejoicing / wallowing / zippy Leena,
who will be remembered for desiging unflawed NAFTA,
se sikho kya hota hai Jeena...

Glossary::
NAFTA-- was a STUPID and VERY VERY largescale project we worked on.
wallowing -- We all know the obvious meaning of this word, but this is written with the alternate meaning in mind, as explained here :: http://www.answers.com/wallowing&r=67